April 30th

That was a weird month! Someone asked me “how are you?” And the first inclination is to say “l am healthy and I am fine and grateful” but the truth is that I am not ok.

It’s not ok to celebrate Easter on the laptop, to light the midnight candle alone. It’s not ok to see childhood friends and not hug them. It’s not ok to stop by a friend’s house and stay far away from them. It’s not ok to hear that a 47 year old without any other diseases died from the virus. It’s not ok to work in a vacuum, with zoom calls and no interaction. It’s not ok to be afraid of our financial future. A lot of things are not ok, I can keep going.

What is ok, is Nicolas who at around 6:00 am every morning he comes into our bed, gets under the covers and slowly wakes us up. He is calm, and happy, and he is the future. And in his morning gaze I see the future, and it will be ok.